This is my heart cry

This is my heart cry

By Isaiah Pauley

Sin ruins everything.

It’s heartbreaking. But sometimes, my heart needs broken so Christ can fully escape. In moments like these, I don’t struggle with my ego. Instead of reflecting on God’s goodness, I hurl at my own nastiness.

My original plan this morning was to write a column. But now, I wonder why I even have the opportunity of doing it. To be honest, I practically told God to find someone else. It’s heartbreaking. I feel so distant from the hand of God because sin ruins everything.

I fall into sin knowing how destructive it is, but my enemy makes it seem so appealing. Man, I can’t wait until Satan finally owns-up to his defeat. Trust me when I tell you, I would be much more satisfied had I not given in to sin.

But I did. Now, I feel empty, broken, and unworthy of anything good.

Including God’s own forgiveness. How could I merely receive such a free, unconditional gift without doing something—anything—to earn it? I mean, I don’t deserve Christ’s forgiveness. How is there not a price for something so priceless?

Actually, I’m reminded, there was. But it wasn’t a price I paid. It was a price that Jesus Christ paid for me. Why? Because no matter how hard I try, I could never gather enough, be enough, or do enough to rid my broken heart from all this crud!

And God knew that. He understood that I could never get Him to love me. Because God turns His back on sin, He knew there was nothing in this world I could ever do to get him to turn around.

So “…He sent his Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving His son as a sacrifice for our sins” (Romans 8:3).

Jesus Christ—the perfect Son of God—paid the price for my forgiveness and my relationship with God. Now, sin is defeated. Death has lost its sting. Jesus has the last word, and it is “forgiven.”

I still can’t pinpoint a reason for this sacrifice. Why would Jesus go through literal Hell for an unworthy mess-of-a-person like me? The only answer I can muster is love. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

So, yeah. I am forgiven because Jesus died in my place on a cross. And that’s why He is all that matters. That’s why He is my best friend—something I am unashamed of. Now, I live without condemnation (Romans 8:11) and have life more abundantly (John 10:10). Now, I get to be joyful. I get to be free. I get to take advantage of amazing opportunities—like writing a weekly Jesus column—not because I’m awesome, but because Jesus is!

The same is true for you. What an amazing life you can live when you are forgiven by Jesus. For some of you, there is a strong sense of conviction in your soul right now. You realize that Jesus paid the price for that sin cluttering your heart and mind. He made a way for you to have a beautiful relationship with your Creator. With the all-powerful God. If that’s you, I encourage you to embark upon the journey you were created for—one with Jesus Christ. To be saved—to be forgiven—the Bible says, “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9). If you just made the decision to begin a relationship with Jesus, be sure to let someone know! It is the best decision you’ll ever make!

But for others, you feel relieved that such a simple article is now complete. I’ve thought like that before, too. But when you feel so dirty, broken, and unworthy like me, it’s hard not to remember. After all, the simplest thing is the most powerful. Jesus died so I could live. I pray I never forget that.
This is my heart cry

By Isaiah Pauley

Isaiah Pauley is a junior at Wahama High School. His blogs and videos can be found at

Isaiah Pauley is a junior at Wahama High School. His blogs and videos can be found at


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